Hardest thing to do in life is to bet on yourself.
You like myself and any other human on this planet, are probably full of doubts and confused about the future. Relax, we all are, it’s just the way life is designed.
Many writers have written about the inner voice and I payed attention at the time. Later on I forgot about it because let’s face it things don’t really stick with me. Haven’t I nagged enough about my ADD and bad memory issues?
You see as a professional procrastinator and excuses maker I tend to always postpone the actual listening to that little voice inside, telling myself things like: Now it’s not a good time, We’re in recession, You need a full time job, You need to get your act together…bla bla bla
The thing is once every two years I seem to be falling into a very deep existential crisis because of that little voice. I get paralyzed and feel life has no meaning whatsoever. I feel I’m wasting my time being to self involved and not helping people.
And then the voice pops in and says what the hell are you waiting for? Haven’t you made enough excuses already?
Then a big inside argument starts to build up and it goes something l ike this:
ME: -What if I fail?
VOICE: -You start over.
ME: -Ohh really? Is it that simple?
VOICE: -Am yeah, it is.
ME: – Ohh really?
ME: – Ohh really?
VOICE: -I just said so.
ME: – Ohh really, really like for reals?
VOICE: -Ok, we need to shut down your “I think I’m funny” part of the brain before going any further.
ME: -Ohh rea… shut down.
VOICE: -So let’s go through this again, shall we?
ME: – fhaslifvlsafubel
VOICE: -Ohh shit, I might have sliced and chopped part I shouldn’t have. Ups, brb.
ME: -(Gazing stupidly at the window)
VOICE: -Ok, and we’re back. So what you need to do is grow a pair and start going after what you want.
ME: -And how do I do that?
VOICE: – You start by applying to “Psychology studies”. God knows you need some of that.
ME: -But will I be able to shrink myself?
VOICE: -I’m afraid not, you’re what shrinks call a lost cause.
ME: -Whatevs, I’m sure there’s a lot of more messed up people than me out there.
VOICE: -Did you hear what I just said?
ME: -Lalalala… (gazing stupidly at my hand now because the voice cut off the blue cable again…)
Hope you enjoyed my mental farts (which are not entirely based on facts) Cheers!